you traded sex for a burrito?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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