got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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