I just cut my nipple shaving
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
