they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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