please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize