NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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