when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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