You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
