Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
