oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My ATM looks so different sober.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
