we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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