oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
