Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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