im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
