why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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