im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
