Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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