mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize