We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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