I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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