I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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