Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm really busy with my period
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