He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
