Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's like a pop up book from hell.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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