I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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