Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
