just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
