at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
