Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize