i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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