That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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