dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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