yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
