Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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