you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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