She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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