I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.