This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
