It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
