I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
