Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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