Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize