she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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