This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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