I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize