Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
