Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
