small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
