nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
