Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
