We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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