dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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