I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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