At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
