I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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